Moving from the familiar, what’s known, to the unfamiliar, what’s new and not yet known, involves change - resulting in growth. Growth is a constant battle of gain and loss - a kind of tug of war between losing what feels familiar and secure as we open ourselves up to new experiences that drive us to accomplish what we never had thought possible. Growth is a continual process of change involving a wide range of emotions from anxiety, uncertainty, fear, and sadness to excitement, surprise, joy, and pride.
As we enter the summer months, many families are poised to support their children as they transition from preschool to kindergarten, changing classrooms, or moving from one grade to the next – all significant transitions for both the child and family. These changes include a continuous unfolding of new chapters filled with new routines, new challenges, new friends, new teachers, and new social settings.
The accompanying emotions of excitement, anxiety, and challenge can feel overwhelming and nerve-wracking for a young child and their parents. As parents and caregivers, we often wonder: How can we help our children feel ready, capable, and confident while managing our own mixed emotions of excitement, apprehension, a sense of relief, and sadness.
In my ECSELent Adventures Children’s book series, I address challenging topics through age-appropriate, fun stories. “Shemmy’s Wild Ride” is about Shemmy, a young otter determined to prove she’s a “big kid.” With her beloved lovey, Mimi Curie, by her side, Shemmy confronts emotional challenges that many children have during transitions, including those related to school: fear, excitement, frustration, and ultimately—autonomy, on the path to a secure and positive sense of self.
In “Shemmy’s Wild Ride,” Mimi Curie acts as a “bridge” between dependence and independence. The transition from using a lovey all the time to not needing it as much is similar to how children grow emotionally as experiences change, such as moving into new school environments. And like Shemmy, many children need to know it's okay to still want comfort, even as they grow.
| Parent Tip: Don’t rush your child to give up their transitional object, an object like a blanket or stuffed animal that a child becomes attached to, serving as a bridge between their dependency on you for comfort, safety, security, and their growing sense of self, providing comfort during times of challenge and change. Instead, observe when they naturally begin to rely on it less. Celebrate small steps toward independence, like “I noticed you left your teddy at home today and did great at school!” |
In a dream, Shemmy must ride her bike—now without training wheels—to the old oak tree. Along the way, she faces fear and self-doubt, but she hears Mimi Curie's encouragement in her heart: “You can do it!”
This powerful metaphor reminds us that while our children may need us close by at first, there will come a time when they draw on our support from having internalized the comfort, nurturing, and support they’ve received from you and have taken it within, making it a part of their sense of self.
| Parent Tip: Remind your child of previous challenges they overcame. This builds emotional resilience and self-belief. |
| Parent Tip: Acknowledge and accept their big feelings with empathy without trying to “fix” them. Try saying, “I can see you’re feeling worried about your new class. That’s okay. I understand. I can remember feeling that way too when I started a new year at school. I also felt butterflies in my tummy when I started my new job. Want to talk about it?” |
Equally important is being aware of and acknowledging your own emotions that at times may leave you feeling overwhelmed and unable to manage them–interfering with your ability to understand and provide support for your child. Being aware of what we’re feeling and what is causing it can help us to manage our own feelings and better understand the feelings of others - the same is true for our kids.
By the end of the story, Shemmy reaches an old oak tree. She realizes she’s capable of doing big things on her own, and that Mimi Curie is always with her tucked safely within her heart.
As parents, it’s our role to prepare, support, and guide our children’s life transitions so they can learn to have confidence within themselves – knowing we’re always there in their hearts.
So, as you prepare your young children for the transitions that come each year in school– as they take off on this new adventure or the adventures ahead from one grade to the next– keep in mind that embracing the unknown requires perseverance and the confidence to engage and stick with new experiences that open doors to new possibilities that help build a positive and secure sense of self.
School is only one of many examples of change. “Shemmy’s Wild Ride,” and the lessons within about personal growth, the support of loved ones, and gaining confidence can be applied to a wide array of changing circumstances, such as moving to a new home or city, divorce, changes in routine, and more.
Remember, like Shemmy, your children will look back and think, “I did it” – with your support, of course.