I remember the time I yelled the loudest at my daughter. She was only 4 years old. She was asking me sensitive questions about what happens to us after we die. She was also in the middle of using a public bathroom in a New York City park, touching every surface no matter how many times I asked her to stop, and her questions were a form of dawdling. "I can't talk to you about this right now!" I shouted. "Can we just finish up and leave?!" Cue the tears.
I don't know if that one outburst qualifies me as an especially sensitive parent, but I did walk away from that incident with a greater self-awareness. I learned that I had to identify what sets off my temper (germy public bathrooms). I learned that I needed to make amends after blowing up, even if I thought she was needling me (which she was). And I learned that, from that day forward, I should put her father on bathroom duty.
Sensitive parents whose emotions run close to the surface all the time probably figured all this out way before their kids turned 4. "Being highly emotional isn't good or bad," says Amy Morin, LCSW, psychotherapist and best-selling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do. "It's important to find a balance and to work on ensuring that your kids are learning the skills they need to become responsible adults. Parents can learn to model emotional awareness and regulation skills so that their kids learn it's normal to have a wide variety of feelings. It's also important for kids to learn the skills they need to manage those feelings effectively."
Morin and other experts weighed in on the common traits of emotionally sensitive parents — including the areas where they naturally excel, and where hot-running feelings might be more of a challenge.
Emotionally sensitive parents are in touch with their feelings — and so are their kids.
Children of parents who are sensitive to their own emotions learn that feelings are not something to fear, and they have a leg-up when it comes to EQ, because sensitive parents have these in common.
They raise kids who feel loved.
Being in touch with their emotions means that parents aren't stingy with compliments, hugs or praise. "[These] parents often create a loving, affectionate home," Morin says. "Their willingness to express their feelings helps kids feel deeply loved. They also foster strong emotional bonds with their kids."
They can be healthy role models.
It's actually great when a parent can demonstrate the tools they use to manage their own feelings. "[They are] typically are very sensitive to and able to connect with the emotions of others," says Dr. Donna Housman, EdD, psychologist in child development and founder of the Housman Institute. "This sensitivity provides for the building of empathy, which is necessary for promoting understanding and providing support of their children’s needs and feelings. When sensitivity and empathy is combined with emotional awareness, constructive expression and emotional regulation, the parent’s emotional competence becomes a model for fostering emotional intelligence in their children."
They show kids it's okay to have big feelings.
Part of being sensitive to emotions includes recognizing emotions in others. "When their child is upset, these parents naturally connect with those feelings rather than dismissing them," says Lilit Ayrapetyan, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles specializing in maternal mental health. "This can create a safe space where children learn that all emotions are acceptable and that their love is unconditional, helping them develop stronger emotional intelligence."
They help kids identify and process their own emotions.
Kids are also highly emotional, and these parents show kids how that's not necessarily a bad thing. "When parents openly name their emotions — 'I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath before I respond' — they’re showing kids that emotions aren’t something to fear or suppress, they’re something to navigate," says Alyssa Campbell, founder and CEO of Seed & Sew and author of the upcoming book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings. "This sets kids up with a foundation for emotional intelligence, self-awareness and regulation."
Sometimes, being sensitive to emotions means being overwhelmed by them.
That's not to say there are no challenges to being a sensitive parent. Those whose feelings stay close to the surface should be aware of these tendencies that can rear up in sensitive parents.
They can be overprotective.
This is especially true if fear and anxiety run high. "Parents may become excessively protective or controlling," says positive psychologist Reena B. Patel, LEP, BCBA. "The consequence is that children may struggle with developing independence and confidence. They might become overly reliant on their parents and have trouble making decisions or handling challenges on their own."
They can turn on a dime.
Being the first to offer a hug is great, but it's another matter when a parent is quick to anger. "This can feel unpredictable for children who may feel anxious about what has caused the parent to get so upset so fast," Morin says. "Sometimes kids may feel like they're responsible for their parent's happiness or may feel like they're walking on eggshells to ensure their mood doesn't shift."
They might overreact, or teach kids to overreact.
Every parent has an outsize response to a situation once in a while, but in highly sensitive parents, it can be the norm. "A parent who becomes deeply upset over small mishaps might unintentionally teach their child that minor problems deserve major reactions," Dr. Ayrapetyan says. "This can create anxiety in children who may, at times, start to feel responsible for managing their parent's emotions. They could also develop heightened emotional responses to everyday challenges."
In the end, sensitive parents have an understanding of their own emotional needs, which can serve their families well if they know how to wield it. "For highly emotional parents, self-awareness is really your superpower," Dr. Ayrapetyan says. (It was for me after my big public-bathroom incident.) "Knowing your triggers and creating a pause between feeling and reacting can transform this trait from a negative or challenge into a strength. Remember that your emotional nature makes you exceptionally attuned to your child's needs and also capable of incredible empathy, which are two qualities that form the foundation of secure attachment."
This post was originally published in Good Housekeeping on Mar 25, 2025.
