Developing Content, Successful Children Starts with Us - Not Them

What do we want most for our children? We want them to be content, successful in learning and in life, and become the best versions of themselves through the growth of character and moral development. 

To support our children in developing a positive sense of self, the ability to be caring, compassionate and empathetic with others, with confidence and competence, there are three things to keep in mind: 

1. Children develop in the context of relationships – optimal development happens within the context of responsive relationships;
2. Children learn through observation, imitation, and how we model, guide and respond to them and others through our direction, modeling and guidance. Children internalize the experiences and make them their own; and
3. In helping our children become their best selves and supporting them in unleashing their full potential, we need to not only be aware of what’s needed and important in supporting their growth and development; but also, we need to promote their optimal development by being aware of our own emotional reactions and responses. We need to develop a self-awareness of our vulnerabilities and learn how to manage and deal with our triggers and big emotions, and the impact our emotions and reactions have on others, particularly the children in our care.  

Teachers and parents are key socializers in our children’s lives. As such, we have a responsibility to provide them with empathic understanding, support and guidance in modeling the behaviors and responses we look for in them. This approach not only achieves success academically, but also it achieves success in the growth of character and moral development, which require the skills of emotional intelligence.  

Emotional Intelligence is learning to manage our emotions and understand those of others. It is these foundational skills and characteristics that we hope to see developed and fostered in our children for their success and emotional well-being.

For these skills to take root and blossom, we need to model these same emotionally intelligent and competent responses to our children so they can learn from us through their observations in how we model, guide and respond to them and others—and in the process take in and make them their own, leading to the growth of self-control, and resulting in a strong and positive sense of self. Keep in mind that what we do directly impacts what we want for our children.